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Petra's avatar

First of all, sending a massive hug. You are a fabulous writer, both with fiction and non-fiction. You are not alone in wanting the validation that comes from sharing something you create. Anyone who creates feels this at least to some degree. I hope you are able to keep being kind to yourself and to find joy in other things.

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rachel selene's avatar

thank you thank you thank you, i appreciate it <3 the temptation to throw my internet-accessing devices into a lake persists but i guess i must persist, too

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Petra's avatar

Persisting is important! When I am struggling, I keep telling myself that it will end, and it does. Maybe not soon, but things are always changing.

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cair's avatar

this is incredibly honest and i relate to it so much. i didn't delete my work, but i did create a new ao3 account and basically left old fandoms behind. i love to read your substack and i think you have an incredible talent when it comes to writing, and i hope you can find joy in it again

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rachel selene's avatar

thank you so much cair, that means so much to hear :') trying to remind myself that feelings change and it's okay to try following joy where it leads!!

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claire!'s avatar

feel all of this very much and ily <33

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rachel selene's avatar

ILY and thank you so much for the chat!!!! <3

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epistemology's avatar

Thank you for sharing these thoughts. I remember being sad to see your fics gone because your writing is so beautiful. I'm glad that you write your substack posts, and I hope that you've found peace with how you share your work now <3

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rachel selene's avatar

thank YOU for sharing your thoughts so often -- it's always lovely to see a comment from you. i have found a lot of satisfaction in turning to essay-form posts here on substack but i think i have a lot of emotional work to do before i achieve peace LOL... still a lot of mixed feelings & regret about last year. but forward is the only direction i can go!

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